WORDS BY FLORA MACDONALD JOHNSTON AND REBECCA RHYS-EVANS

THE “I’M DONE BY AUGUST” TYPE

Rebecca Rhys-Evans, Editor

There are few occasions in life where I am organised. I never add important dates to my diary, I’m always between 7-11 minutes late, my desk is a mess and I’ve already confessed to never carrying tampons. That being said, there is one area of my life that I tend to take a Marie Kondo approach: gifting. I’m excellent at it. Precise. Concise. To me, a gift has to be the perfect blend of sentimental and superior quality. This doesn’t always mean expensive, but I’m willing to go just above budget for something handmade, ethical or, if it’s tech, branded.

For those people in life that are particularly hard to buy for (dads, friends who have everything, friends who are boring), I like to think of their gift as the ultimate challenge, I get off on hearing “this is honestly my favourite gift this year.” With this in mind, I don’t tend to listen to the list – I leave this for my siblings and those last minute chancers (see below), which is ironic, as when it comes to receiving things, I go full Rachel Green – ‘stick to the wish list or include a receipt.’ Instead, I really think about what a person needs or what they’d love. Perhaps it’s a private joke between us, maybe it’s something they admired once in my presence but wouldn’t think to ask for. Ultimately I like to bestow someone with something they never knew they needed, and I will think of this periodically all year round. So much so, I’ve already got a 2022 Christmas list started. 

The final stage is my most favourite: wrapping. I would say this is 40% of the gift itself. They say you can’t polish a turd, but I beg to differ. Some truly terrible gifts are made passable when presented in a nice box, wrapped meticulously and tied with silk velvet ribbon. And that’s really my top tip – whatever your budget, always save time and money for making the absolute best of it. What can I say? I guess I’m a giver.

THE BEST GIFT I’VE EVER GIVEN:

I have terrible back pain and am always asking my partner to massage it, which he’s never happy about. So this year for his birthday I bought myself a back massage at a spa. Win-win, IMO.

THE WORST GIFT I’VE EVER RECEIVED:

Not me, but my dad gives my mum famously bad gifts. One year it was a headset for their landline so that she could “do laundry whilst on the phone to [her] mother,” another year (pre-iphone) there was a disposable camera in her stocking. When she asked WTF it was for, he said very pleased with himself “well, I thought you could keep it in your car so that when you have an accident you can photograph the evidence.” 

THE “WHAT TIME DO THE SHOPS CLOSE ON XMAS EVE AGAIN?” TYPE

Flora Macdonald Johnston, Fashion Director

“F**k, crap, tits, bollocks”, as I look at my phone incredulously, I realise it’s December 23rd. I’m not finally catching on to the fact it’s Christmas, my bulging calendar, multiple parties (and subsequent hangovers) have made me well aware of this fact, but, what I have failed to grasp is buying presents. This is not just for my other half, I am talking about everyone. Every person of note in my life. Again, f**k, crap, tits and bollocks.

This happens to me each year without fail. I just can’t seem to get this one thing right. However, when this inevitable annual event occurs, my mind goes into what I like to call ‘Ninja Mode’. My brain enters lightning speed. Have you ever seen the film ‘Limitless’? The protagonist, writer Eddie Morra (played by the dashing Bradley Cooper), takes a drug which enhances his mental acuity to operate at 100%. Well, not to be smug, but that’s me on Christmas Eve eve, I can suddenly see everything.  

First port of a call, a shop that will cater to multiple characters.  Last minute’rs now take note, you’re about to receive some nuggets that will save you. Always start with stocking filler items first, it’s a safe bet they will be located on the first floor. It acts as the perfect warm-up routine for your Christmas race and you can start with the little bits and bobs which can easily be thrown in the basket without much thought. A CBD oil here, a freshly baked orange and dark chocolate biscotti there, oh, and that small wobbly-wibbly ceramic bowl that will look perfect on your sister's work desk - in the basket it goes! 

Keep calm and be methodical, one floor at time. If tech is next, get something that everyone needs but doesn’t want to buy for themselves. I'm being serious when I say one of the best gifts I ever gave was a toaster to my brother who just couldn’t be arsed to buy one himself. Multiple toasty settings and in a chic chrome finish (don’t be jealous now). The man now has crumpets daily. Next, you should proceed to womenswear and menswear etc etc. 

I know myself, I am good when it comes to clothing (my title probably made that obvious), so I am confident in this department. Cashmere is a failsafe, and so is a good pair of trackies, Merino wool fabulous, even better if an eco-conscious material like seaweed. But I particularly love buying New Gen designer pieces, a label not many others know about that make the wearer feel unique.

And unlike my colleague, I can’t wrap. My presents look like a crumpled mess. But, it’s the thought that counts, right?

THE BEST GIFT I’VE EVER GIVEN:

I said it above and I’ll say it again - that toaster!

THE WORST GIFT I’VE EVER RECEIVED: 

Unfortunately for everyone, I am bloody hard to buy for. I know what I like and that’s the only thing I want. I’ve received some shockers. Now, forgive me father, for I’m about to dob you in. Mr Iain MJ always gets me an initial ‘F’ mug, with 8 now in my collection I could start my own shop...PLEASE STOP!